It’s an interesting notion

It’s an interesting notion – sadly, for every one father who wants and chooses to be in his childrens’ lives, there’s 5-10 who chose their career before all else. Until they’re smacked with a divorce that says – oops, I guess I’ve been neglecting things at home. And for every one father who wants and chooses to be in his children’s lives, there are 5-10 mom’s out there with more backing and support than the male half of the species can garner.

Can you imagine the agenda listing for a politician who wants to collect “points” from all the small groups out there? Remember, for each group that’s “for” something, there’s an equal and sometimes more formidable group “against” that same something.

I’m sorry – but the truth is sad but honest.

Yes, we can shout and write letters and send emails to politicians….and maybe convincing some big name stars to come to your side, that always seems to help……but do I see change in my lifetime? I’m sorry….I don’t….for a myriad of reasons that society simply isn’t ready to see yet.

I don’t want to sound discouraging to the father’s who want to “fight” the system that’s in place – I wish them all the luck in the world. Sometimes things fall into our laps that we had no idea possibly could…..but more times than not, they don’t.

Affordable attorneys

Many folks write that they cannot afford an attorney. However, if your place of employment has one of those employee assistance programs, they may have negotiated reduced rates with local attorneys. EAP programs are frequently confidential consultations. Unions frequently have deals with local attorneys as well.

Remember, attorneys charge in six minute increments. In some firms, there is a requirement that the attorney BILL at least 50 hours per week. Understand that there is a difference between being at the job and billing. Every time you call your attorney, KA CHING! He will talk to you and write a memo about the conversation and it will take at least 12 if not 18 minutes. If you write them a letter, KA CHING, at least 6 minutes. You can do the math. If you absolutely must talk to someone, talk to the paralegal. They charge less per hour.

A few additional tips to keep your fees down. 1) Don’t pay more than $.10 per photocopy. Photocopying is a profit center for many law firms – they charge $.25 per page. 2) Challenge overnight delivery fees – ask him or her why they waited until the last second to get something done and why YOU have to pay for it (lawyers are lousy at time management). 3) Only pay long distance charges for OUTGOING faxes and no more than $.25/page for incoming faxes.

Also there are 5 most typical mistakes:

You have a right to expect that your attorney will attempt to have your case resolved quickly & efficiently. Settlements at the courthouse steps are expensive. Make sure your attorney negotiates an agreement PRIOR to going to court (or at least makes an attempt) for anything. COURT IS EXPENSIVE. For example, if the only issue is child support, and you live in a state with mandatory support guidelines then why are you going to court. If the court allows it, figure out the support obligation and get an agreement on it signed without going to court. Then it need only be presented to the judge for his/her signature without everyone having to be there.

Send a letter to the last known address

Send a letter to the last known address, via certified/registered mail, return receipt requested.

Also ensure you notify the court with original jurisdiction. You may also look at contacted her parents, as they may know where she is.

And make double sure you document and save all attempts to contact her.

I hate to tell you this

I hate to tell you this but you just guaranteed you will not get your wife to accept less than $1300 even if she is only entitled to less.

NEVER NEVER NEVER make promises except outside the divorce framework. Don’t make anymore promises and make sure your attorney is aware of the most recent “demand and offer).

Remember, child support is a formula based upon income. My guess is that they are not going to input too much income to your wife because of how long it has been since she last worked and the reason for her not working at that time.

However, in most situations, the judge is not going to let her sit on her ass for the rest of her life – especially if you get a halfway decent attorney.

Get an attorney and don’t take any more promises. Trust me, you’ll get an opportunity to write some checks real soon.

Good luck.