I’m afraid

I’m afraid that beyond what I said, I cannot be of help.

I have a personal, and moral, objection to what you want to do, unless this woman has remarried and her husband is filling the father role, you should be the father of these children, and do what you can to get your butt back into the US to do so.

Revoking your parental rights releases you from future child support claims

Revoking your parental rights releases you from future child support claims, but not past. That is up to the judge and depends on other factors, such as whether she has ever been on welfare. If she has, she has no legal right to have the arrearage set aside. The money belongs to welfare and will continue to collect interest until it is paid.

The interest rate will be from 3% to 10% per month. I’m not sure what the Texas rate is.

Check with Texas Fathers for Equal Rights at https://fathers4kids.com/. And no, once this is done, it is permanent. You are no longer the father.

But, since you are out of the country, you haven’t been a father to them anyway, due to lack of contact, and not paying your child support.

Waive Parental Rights – Texas

Please Help. I am in a different country and my girlfriend want to revoke my parental rights and I am for it because I cant get to the States.

I want to know if by waiving my parental rights does that automatically remove my rearrange child support amount. How long does it take to get that done and once I get back to the States can I put it back. Can the Judge not accept it.

Your help will be greatly appreciated.


It’s an interesting notion

It’s an interesting notion – sadly, for every one father who wants and chooses to be in his childrens’ lives, there’s 5-10 who chose their career before all else. Until they’re smacked with a divorce that says – oops, I guess I’ve been neglecting things at home. And for every one father who wants and chooses to be in his children’s lives, there are 5-10 mom’s out there with more backing and support than the male half of the species can garner.

Can you imagine the agenda listing for a politician who wants to collect “points” from all the small groups out there? Remember, for each group that’s “for” something, there’s an equal and sometimes more formidable group “against” that same something.

I’m sorry – but the truth is sad but honest.

Yes, we can shout and write letters and send emails to politicians….and maybe convincing some big name stars to come to your side, that always seems to help……but do I see change in my lifetime? I’m sorry….I don’t….for a myriad of reasons that society simply isn’t ready to see yet.

I don’t want to sound discouraging to the father’s who want to “fight” the system that’s in place – I wish them all the luck in the world. Sometimes things fall into our laps that we had no idea possibly could…..but more times than not, they don’t.

Take the time to prepare

More than anything, also take the time to prepare. Put together a Chronological statement, starting from the day you met your children’s mothers, to present. This will save you 1-2 hours of attorney fees. Keep a daily journal. Put in it everything you do each day, along with the times.

What should you put in it? What you should not put in it is when you have sex. everything else goes in. That way, if she claims you did something a month, or a year from now, you can quickly reference what you were doing that day. Instructions for keeping a journal can be found under Benefits. Regularly check your case file to make sure your attorney is doing the things he/she says is being done. Get prepared financially: apply for a loan (I recommend going with at least $500 bucks), hire a lawyer if you want to, start collecting papers.

Know people who can testify on your behalf? Get a notarized statement from them. Keep a copy and give the original to your attorney.

There are many things that can be done to keep the cost down.

The answer is getting the issue in the public eye

If we can manipulate a politician into making a public issue of children being denied access to their fathers, so much the better, regardless of whether we back that politician or not. We need more public discussion on the issue. So, if it take making a politician think that can gain more backing for their campaign by making an issue of it, than I’m all for it.

Just because we are writing Buchanan about it, does not mean we have to turn around and vote for him. We just want him to raise the issue. Besides, he’s not looking to win this election, he’s just trying to get enough vote to get public money for the next. So, why not write him about this and make him think it will gain him points?

What can the politicians do?

politiciansI’m curious about what you “think” the politicians – any of them – can do?

Make divorce harder?
Humans make mistakes, this includes choosing mates and breeding.

Is it better for the child to be in a two parent home with shouting, screaming and physical fighting between the parents, after all, they are together, isn’t the the important part?

Why do we expect others to solve our problems for us?

Sorry, I don’t believe Buchanan’s the answer – nor do I believe any of the politician agenda’s are the solution to an ageless problem.

If the humans making up the system were ethical and honorable, for instance, if they could part equitably and peacefully, thinking of the child(ren) first and not themselves, then would we need a system at all? And if the humans aren’t honest and fair, how can you expect the system to be any less?

Do you people not read the papers?

Gag me – do you people not read the papers?

Between the religious right being caught with their pants down and the Mormons – please…..the religious people are not the logical answer to the problems.

Maybe let’s try a little personal responsibility….individual, personal responsibility – what a concept…..maybe we can’t do much to help the dad’s now – but maybe, just maybe we can teach the not yet dads to wear condoms so it doesn’t happen to them until they’re mature enough to handle things…including their own lives.

Affordable attorneys

Many folks write that they cannot afford an attorney. However, if your place of employment has one of those employee assistance programs, they may have negotiated reduced rates with local attorneys. EAP programs are frequently confidential consultations. Unions frequently have deals with local attorneys as well.

Remember, attorneys charge in six minute increments. In some firms, there is a requirement that the attorney BILL at least 50 hours per week. Understand that there is a difference between being at the job and billing. Every time you call your attorney, KA CHING! He will talk to you and write a memo about the conversation and it will take at least 12 if not 18 minutes. If you write them a letter, KA CHING, at least 6 minutes. You can do the math. If you absolutely must talk to someone, talk to the paralegal. They charge less per hour.

A few additional tips to keep your fees down. 1) Don’t pay more than $.10 per photocopy. Photocopying is a profit center for many law firms – they charge $.25 per page. 2) Challenge overnight delivery fees – ask him or her why they waited until the last second to get something done and why YOU have to pay for it (lawyers are lousy at time management). 3) Only pay long distance charges for OUTGOING faxes and no more than $.25/page for incoming faxes.

Also there are 5 most typical mistakes:

You have a right to expect that your attorney will attempt to have your case resolved quickly & efficiently. Settlements at the courthouse steps are expensive. Make sure your attorney negotiates an agreement PRIOR to going to court (or at least makes an attempt) for anything. COURT IS EXPENSIVE. For example, if the only issue is child support, and you live in a state with mandatory support guidelines then why are you going to court. If the court allows it, figure out the support obligation and get an agreement on it signed without going to court. Then it need only be presented to the judge for his/her signature without everyone having to be there.

She’s YOUR girlfriend but you don’t know if you are the father?

She’s YOUR girlfriend but you don’t know if you are the father? Also, the court would not have entered a child support and garnishment order without prior notice to you so where were you when the support hearing came up.

The AG is involved: a) because AG’s typically are responsible for enforcing support orders when the mother has little money; or b) because the mother went on public assistance and now that they know where you are, they want their money back. If the AG is really holding the arrearage over your head, my GUESS is b.

Leaving the country without paying the support just p$ssed people off at the courthouse because you made it look like you could care less about judicial orders. Now that they have your attention, the AG wants to give you a civics lesson.

You need to sit down with that attorney of yours pronto and go over all the possible scenarios. Next time, you need to be a bit more aware of what is going on around you.

As for the other members of this “club” I hope this case serves as a wake up call. The stakes in these cases are high – pay attention to what is going on, DON’T EVER MISS COURT DATES and comply with all court orders unless it is absolutely impossible (contempt requires wilful disobedience and can be avoided if you have a decent excuse (note that decent is a relative term)) no matter how onerous.

Send a letter to the last known address

Send a letter to the last known address, via certified/registered mail, return receipt requested.

Also ensure you notify the court with original jurisdiction. You may also look at contacted her parents, as they may know where she is.

And make double sure you document and save all attempts to contact her.

This is something you should have taken care of

This is something you should have taken care of from the beginning. Only one state has ruled to set aside a child support order because the man was not the bio dad, and that is Maryland. But, it is being appealed to the US Supreme Court.

Once a child support order begins, you must pay it. As for setting aside what is owed, that is up to the judge, But, if she was ever on welfare, he is not allowed do that. Also, the state gets matching funds for enforcing child support, so a judge could say that it does not matter what the mother wants, the money belongs to the child.

Plus, there have been some recent rulings that when the mother does not go after the child support, when a child reaches age 18, he/she can sue for the 18 years worth. So, even with a decision now in your favor, it could be overturned in six years by the child.

Texas Child Support Question

child supportMy girlfriend had put child support on me for our two year old daughter. I am not sure if I am the father but I had signed on the birth certificate because at that time I was the only one with her while she was going for delivery and she had no one else. I am from a different country. The court had apparently came to a conclusion of setting an amount and garnishing my wages.

I was not involved in any of this. I promptly quit the job and left back to my country. When I reapplied for my visa, I was refused saying that I owed over 12,000$ from bad child support. I hired a lawyer to take care of that so that I can come back to the states and take care of some unfinished business. The mother and me came to an agreement of removing the bad child support, so that I can come back, but the AG is not agreeing to the agreement.

We are going to a judge shortly. My question is can the AG do this. The second thing that the mother and me came to an agreement is that if the judge rules against me, she would try to take away my parental rights so that there would not be any child support.

Will that remove the bad child support. Please Help. Thanks

Check on the possibility of placing a public notice

I would check on the possibility of placing a public notice ad on the local paper informing her of your moving plans. I think after three weeks of running the ad you can officially claim that you did your best to notify her and you will have proof.

If she owes child support she probably won’t even want to respond for fear that she will be charged and forced to pay. There is usually a legal procedure to be followed. You need to modify visitation – file the appropriate papers for modification and then file a motion for notice by publication. The court will tell you how many weeks (usually 3) and the papers to put the notice in.

Also, if you really want to cover yourself, give the papers to the local sheriff (or whoever you folks use to serve legal documents) and the mother’s last known address. Get an affidavit from the sheriff documenting his efforts to serve the papers.

And that, as they say, should be that.

Quick Question

I’m a single dad with custody.

I’m considering moving to another state.

His mother has certain visitation rights, however she hasn’t excercised them in over two years.

I live in North Carolina. By law, I`m required to inform his mother of his address. But she has disappeared off the face of the earth lately.

What kind of legal action can I use to cover myself. I cannot notify her if I don’t know her whereabouts.

Prepare yourself to be kicked around and toyed with

I live in Florida and have been fighting for almost three years so prepare yourself to be kicked around and toyed with. The system will back her all the way even if you were best for your children.

Here is some hard to accept advice but believe me, if you think about it well and look at all the results, you might see how good this could be. I did.

– If you can, look for another job where you will be able to travel much less even if you get paid less. You will probably be nailed with 25% of your gross, so whatever pay cut you take will be a pay cut for her. Maybe she will even have to work and not have it so made.

– If you do this, try to spend more time being involved with all activities at your childrens’ school. You can assist classes once a week for an hour, help with extra curricular activities, help with school activities and meetings, etc.

– Get to know the teachers, principals, and your childrens’ friends.

– Any chance you get to go out to dinner, park, movie, etc. with your kids, do it! If your ex wants to go out on a date, BE THE BABY SITTER!

– DO NOT pay any expenses for the children such as child care, clothing, etc. This is why she gets 25%. My ex convince me to pay day care instead of giving her some of the child support. I paid over 21K through the years and then she nailed me for back child support. In GA paying like I did is considered a gift to the children and does not count as child support.

What do you get in exchange:

– Less money, more modest managed living
– She has to work instead of sit home and enjoy life
– Your life slows down and you get more time to smell the roses WITH YOUR KIDS!
– Best of all – YOU WILL BE YOUR KIDS HERO, ALWAYS! My children are 14 and 12 and they both treat me like if I was the best thing that ever happened to them and they love to hear their friends tell them how cool and sweet their Dad is to them.

If anyone can sacrifice the big bucks, your kids will be the winners….

If there is no custody order

If there is no custody order, and your son has been in your care for over a year, I’m guessing that your state courts have jurisdiction over the boy and not Florida (at least I would attempt that argument).

So get thee to an attorney posthaste and see if you can file for custody in your home town. That will place the mother in the unenviable position of having to hire an out-of-state attorney (for her) to argue why she should now have legal custody.

IF you are VERY lucky, the court may decide that it would be too traumatic to make a 3 yo suddenly take up a new permanent residence, especially if you can show that you took an active part in your son’s development.

Help Please and Hurry

I have had my son in my care for over a year now and he went for a visit. There has been no custody order and we where never married. He is 3 years old and now she does not want to let him return.

She is however, letting him return for a visit only and we live in 2 diff states.

He has been in Florida visiting for 2 months now and will return in two weeks for a month visit. I do not want to let him return? I need advice and I need it fast please help. Thank you in advance for your time and help.

I hate to tell you this

I hate to tell you this but you just guaranteed you will not get your wife to accept less than $1300 even if she is only entitled to less.

NEVER NEVER NEVER make promises except outside the divorce framework. Don’t make anymore promises and make sure your attorney is aware of the most recent “demand and offer).

Remember, child support is a formula based upon income. My guess is that they are not going to input too much income to your wife because of how long it has been since she last worked and the reason for her not working at that time.

However, in most situations, the judge is not going to let her sit on her ass for the rest of her life – especially if you get a halfway decent attorney.

Get an attorney and don’t take any more promises. Trust me, you’ll get an opportunity to write some checks real soon.

Good luck.

Obviously I flubbed-up

Obviously I flubbed-up the opening sentence, which should have read: “When in the course of human events it becomes necessary…,” and so from the start you can see I need some help. However, I do believe it is a good start…which only needs more of a middle part, and an end, whereby each citizen and group can affirm their SUPPORT FOR EACH OTHER: “And for the support of this declaration, with a firm reliance of the protection of divine providence we mutually pledge to each other our lives, our fortunes, & our sacred honor.”

Somehow, I do not believe the Framers would mind our borrowing their words for our cause. It all seems to fit too perfectly.

So who will give me their JOHN HANCOCK…and help to begin a Revolution? Is it true there are nine hundred and ninety-nine PATRONS of virtue, to one virtuous man?? Is it not true that voting is only a FEEBLE WISH for the right to prevail???

Benjamin Franklin once quipped, when signing the Declaration, that: “If we do not all hang together, we shall surely each hang separately.”
I submit to you, friends, that the same holds true for us and our cause. Truth be known, there are thousands of NCP groups already formed, and with hundreds of thousands of members. The problem is that EACH group wants theirs to become the “umbrella” organization which will unite us all, and each group has it’s own issues and agendas.
There are too many people, in other words, with too much to say.

My NCP declaration can unite the many different organizations and groups, by listing their common grievances (as in (1.)thru(5.) of the document ), and using terminologies and generalizations that EVERYONE can agree to sign and be a part of, hopefully. If there is any wording which is not agreeable to us all, we will change the wording to make it more agreeable–to everyone! Of the five grievances I have listed so far, does anyone find reason not to sign my declaration? Surely the words can be altered to make the document agreeable.

Perhaps the document can be used to unite the many groups and organizations for a single event, such as refusing to pay support a certain month in a nationwide protest? If NCP’s made extra support payments before or after the coordinated nonpayment of support, then there would be no harm done to the children. If NATIONWIDE cooperation between our groups is ever successful, and we are able to unite as one powerful force, surely it will require an instrument such as this to attract the favorable attention of the media and convince the citizenry to change the laws.

Who will join me? Who is willing to recognize the RIGHT for Revolution, as also provided in our Constitution? The Framers flew a flag which had shown a snake broken into eight pieces, with the words “JOIN, or DIE” stitched across the bottom.
And these are the words I say to you, friends: JOIN, or DIE!